Kevin Durant is famous for, among other things, having defended his honor on Twitter by using fake accounts to reply to haters. I personally don’t think that’s such a big deal and I don’t hold it against him (you will never find my alt Twitter accounts, by the way), but one quote of his sticks out to me: “Kd can’t win a championship with those cats”.
Which “cats” are being reference by Durant’s tweet? It’s presumably every member of the OKC Thunder outside of Russell Westbrook, but it’s worth noting that there have been many, many cats in Durant’s career with whom he has been unable to win a championship with.
In this two-parts series, your favorite pseudojournalist DTB will highlight some of these non-championship-winning cats. If you would like to aid DTB in his pseudojournalistic efforts, you can donate to his Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/downtobuck .
Ira Newble (07-08 Supersonics): The 33-year-old Newble, who was most notable for once kicking Mike Dunleavy in the face, and was also notable for probably having the nickname “Newb”, only played two games for the Sonics in the 07-08 season before getting waived. It is possible that he would have been able to win with Durant, but there wasn’t enough time to find out. Certainly a player who averages 2 PPG can be found on every championship roster. Just saying.
Thabo Sefolosha (08-09 to 13-14 Thunder): The league didn’t become obsessed with 3-and-D wings until after his tenure with the Thunder ended, so it’s totally reasonable that Durant assumed he couldn’t win with Sefolosha. I mean, Sefolosha was never a guy who would put a lot of points on the board, yet he was the starter for most of this time in OKC. Durant probably spent half of his time in Sam Presti’s office begging that Sefolosha be traded for somebody who could score points.
Dion Waiters (14-15 to 15-16 Thunder): His voice-acting in the 2K games sucks and makes him out to be a subliterate doofus. His on-court play also sucks and makes him out to be a subliterate doofus. When Durant was begging Presti to get a scoring SG on the roster, he meant a good scoring SG, not just an SG who scores. Low-efficiency shot-takers are not the type of cats who can help you get a ring, unless they’re Russell Westbrook (haha, I’m joking guys. Haha).
Byron Mullens (09-10 to 10-11 Thunder): First off, why would anybody willingly accept the nickname “B.J.”? Second off, Durant made the playoffs for the first time when Mullens was a rookie, so, at first glance, it would seem like to Durant that Mullens is a “winning” type of cat. But Mullens only appeared in fourteen games his rookie year (13 regular season games and one playoff game), while fellow rookies James Harden and Serge Ibaka made a much bigger impact. Mullens would go on to have a bigger role on some truly awful Bobcats teams before dropping out of the league. I unironically would like to see him make an NBA return, but probably not on a Durant-led squad.
Kendrick Perkins (10-11 to 14-15 Thunder): The Celtics lost the 2010 Finals because Perkins went down in game six. So it would make sense that Perkins was the type of player that could have helped Durant get a championship, right? Nope. At the grand old age of 26, Perkins was washed. His only highlights were getting thrunked on by Blake Griffin (before Griffin became a stretch four) and airballing a jumpshot against the Lakers.
Steven Hill (08-09 Thunder): This dude got into exactly one game in his NBA career, and that happened to be a game where Durant was inactive. Hill was clearly such a loser that Durant couldn’t face the possibility, however remote, that he would have to share the court with this long-haired seven-foot slab of scrubness.
Marcus Derrickson (18-19 Warriors): It seemed like the 18-19 Warriors were poised for a championship when the season started, but it was all ruined by this guy named Marcus Derrickson. During the course of the season, Durant used, by my count, at least twelve different Twitter accounts to slander Derrickson’s name. Among the juiciest KD quotes regarding Derrickson “DICKson is a no-name bum”, “derickson is a team cnacer”, “Warriors should trade Derrickson for a moldy chicken wing LMAO”, and “KD = GOAT”.
Royal Ivey (10-11 to 11-12, 13-14 Thunder): Ivey was one of those late-00’s point guards who never really did anything but stuck around for a decade anyway. Players who do nothing will, by rule, never win a championship, because a championship is “something” rather than “nothing”.
James Harden (09-10 to 11-12 Thunder): Since Harden has an MVP and some scoring championships to his name, it stands to reason that he was not among the “cats” that Durant referenced in his initial quote. Unfortunately, Sam Presti was so cheap that he blew up the Thunder’s budding dynasty to avoid paying the luxury tax. Thus, Durant’s first real chance at a ring was squandered, with only Kevin Martin as a consolation prize.