I honestly think that Duncan “Heat Check” Robinson is giving the late, great (okay, not so great) Mike Dunleavy a run for his money in terms of…
…You thought I was going to make a comment about them both being white three-point shooters, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU? Ha! I am not so simpleminded as that!
What I was going to say is, Duncan Robinson is establishing himself as a candidate for the “Flattest Face in NBA History” (FFINH) award. Because his face, just like Dunleavy’s was, is seriously flat. Like, flatter than the topography of Kansas. Flatter than Drew Gooden’s midrange jumpers. Flatter than John Henson’s ass.
Robinson’s face does weird things with light so that there are never any shadows on his face. Ever. It’s like he’s a glitch in the video game of real life where his character model is just permanently lit up instead of having its illumination dynamically calculated as he moves around. Even when he smiles or frowns, it’s like there are no crevices or wrinkles in his face. It makes him look like a robot with a metal pseudoskin that’s painted to look like human flesh.
Maybe he is a robot. His inhumanly accurate three-point shooting certainly makes him seem like a robot. Does anybody want to ambush him on the bench with a scalpel to see what really lies underneath that deceiving exterior? It’s probably gears and wires and stuff.