Pascal Siakam All 72 Spin Moves Full Highlights (2019-20 Spinilation)

The industry-standard best practice for making NBA highlight videos is to use the correct commentary whenever possible. In most cases, the correct commentary is provided by the broadcast team of the team that the player in question plays for. In the case of Pascal Siakam, that would be the Raptors’ broadcast crew which usually consists of some combination of Matt Devlin, Leo Rautins (whose son was not a very good NBA player), and Jack Armstrong.

However, in following this best practice, the commentary of the opposing team is an unfortunate casualty. These opposing commentators are often uninterested in the exploits of opposing players, but their incredulous and disbelieving reactions to outstanding plays can be entertaining. In light of that fact, I have reviewed every clip in this video for the most insightful/hilarious/candid commentator reactions, which I will now quote for you in raw, unedited form (complete with relevant timestamps):

[Ed. Note: Apologies for any curse words that may appear in these unedited, authentic quotes]

0:15 [Jeff Turner] “Vucevic’s reluctance to provide any kind of help defense is going to forever cap the Magic’ potential to be anything than a low playoff seed.”

0:25 [Greg Kelser] “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, George? The Pistons might have made a mistake in cutting Joe Johnson in order to keep Christian Wood.”

0:40 [Anthony Brown]: [Immediately talking over the top of Joel Meyers with some overblown, breathless nonsense that has nothing to do with anything happening on the court but is nonetheless bleated at 100 decibels, and as soon as he stops talking for a split second Joel jumps in to agree with him in the vain hope that placating him with agreement will make him shut up for a blessed few seconds]

0:49 [Bill Macdonald]: “HE’S GONNA FUCKIN’ SPIN…HE’S GONNA…FUCKIN’…SPIN….NOOOOOOOOOO!”

0:58 [Unknown]: I don’t know who the Clippers commentators are. Bring back Ralph Lawler and his BINGOs.

1:02 [Kevin Calabro]: “Nasir Little looking really little on that play.”

1:28 [Jeff “Foreskin” Wade]: [Silence because the other two commentators never let him open his dumb mouth]

1:49 [Marc Zumoff]: “Siakam SPINS for two PLUS the foul, one wonders why Elton Brand decided to pay Horford so much money [mumbled]pleasebringbacksamhinkie.”

1:49 [Mike Breen]: “BANG!”

2:42 [Stacey King]: “OHHHHH GIMME SOME BUTTER WITH THAT ROLL”

3:04 [Austin Carr]: [Incomplete thought followed by five seconds of silence while his senility plays catch-up with his mouth]

3:47 [Michael Cage]: “JESUS CHRIST HE’S SPINNING, WATCH OUT FOR THE SPIN, ALL SIAKAM DOES IS SPIN, JESUS CHR-FOUL! FOUL! FOUL! GAAAAAAAAHHH THE SPIIIIIIIIN, YOU HAVE TO STOP THE SPIIIIIIIIIIIIN”

4:02 [Dominique Wilkins]: “The Hawks just aren’t playing any defense at all!”

4:23 [Stacey King]: “Reservation for two Mr. Siakam your table is ready.”

4:38 [Stacey King]: “OHHH SRIRACHA”

4:51 [Quinn Buckner]: “Nate McMillan’s gotta call a timeout. Nate McMillan’s gotta call a timeout!”

5:01 [Jim Petersen]: “Watch out for the spin here OH GOD HE’S SPINNING WHY DIDN’T YOU LISTEN TO ME I WON LIKE FIVE FUCKIN’ CHAMPIONSHIPS IN THE WNBA AS A COACH, RYAN SAUNDERS IS A FRAUD THEY SHOULD CALL HIM RYAN FRAUNDERS”

5:06 [Ian Eagle]: “Wilson Chandler is just too old to deal with that kind of quickness.”

5:23 [Eddie Johnson]: “Maybe if you just got out of his way he would spin out of bounds and turn it over.”

5:45 [Chris Marlowe]: “Siakam likes to spin, so waTCH OUT FOR THAT AAHHHHH JERAMI YOU GOT TOASTED, FUCKIN’ TOASTED, TOO SKINNY”

6:01 [Grant Napear]: “Siakam spins for two.”

6:17 [Matt Harpring]: “FUCK”

[Ed. Note #2: I understand that not all plays shown in this video are the quintessential “spin move” as you might be imagining it. However, if this video were to be limited to true “spin moves” (that is, plays were Siakam runs at full speed from the perimeter and spins off a defender into a layup), it would contain almost no footage, because Siakam doesn’t actually make plays like that very often. If you disagree with my assessment of the situation, you are welcome to analyze all of Siakam’s two-point field goals this season (as I have done) and compile your own spinilation. Then you can upload it to YouTube and see how many views you get on it.]

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