Allen Crabbe Career High 41 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (4/9/2018)

This was, officially, a “Crabbe Feast” tonight for Allen Crabbe. Officially. The commentator even said it after the 40th point (that must be the cutoff for such a designation) was scored, and why would he say it was official when it wasn’t official? I don’t know what kind of monetary/other incentive he had for unlocking…

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Allen Crabbe 25 Points Full Highlights (4/5/2018)

I would be mad about the pair of end-of-shot-clock threes that Allen “Crabbe Festival” Crabbe hit in crunch time, but the Bucks really did not deserve to win this game. In fact, I’m happier that he did hit those threes. There needs to be sadness in Milwaukee tonight. Sadness over the fact that they literally…

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Allen Crabbe 29 Points Full Highlights (3/8/2018)

Allen “Crabbey Patty” Crabbe: more relevant than his lookalike, Odell Beckham Jr.? I have undertook a serious and thorough analysis of the situation, resulting in an answer that I think is satisfactory: Yes! My reasoning is threefold: first, Odell Beckham Jr. is like totally washed, second, his team sucks, and third, who even cares about…

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Allen Crabbe 24 Points Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

For the past few games, Nets fans have been treated to the Allen Crabbe that they thought they were getting when they acquired him from Portland. This new Allen Crabbe actually makes shots some of the time, something that old Allen Crabbe was definitely not doing. Crabbey Patty was looking quite overpaid and quite useless;…

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Allen Crabbe 28 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (2/10/2018)

Allen Crabbe just put up the three-chuckingest performance of the season, shooting 18 triples in 44 minutes in this double-OT loss to the Pelicans. He made 8 of them, which is also cool, but not as cool as having the nads to shoot 18 times from deep. Can you say Antoine Walker? Except Walker didn’t…

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Allen Crabbe Career High 34 Points Full Highlights (2/7/2018)

I’ve always liked Allen “Crabbey Patty” Crabbe’s game. Like a Khris Middleton-lite without the ball-handling skills. He was legit last year in Portland, his jumper was smooth and it was going in all the time, and he was getting paid huge bucks but that was okay because he’d only get better, right? Wrong. Something happened…

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Allen Crabbe 25 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2017)

The Nets only needed about three or four more late triples from Allen Crabbe to beat the Warriors tonight. In the last minute. That’s enough time, I think. But the possession after Crabbe made his final three, he didn’t even get to shoot it. Spencer Dinwiddie (whose good three-point percentage this season is surely nothing…

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Allen Crabbe 25 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2017)

The blame for me having to make this highlight video lies squarely on the Los Angeles Lakers players who were too unskilled/uncoordinated or simply too dumb to avoid fouling Allen “Crabbey Patty” Crabbe on his three-point attempts. That’s seven whole points that Crabbey Patty acquired simply by shooting free throws. If you take the seven…

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Allen Crabbe 20 Points Full Highlights (10/22/2017)

Allen Crabbe is getting paid hella bucks. You know it, the Nets know it, my cat Japurri Purrker knows it, and Crabbe himself is especially aware. The Nets are the ones who offered him that contract in the first place, so I’m sure that they’re not too bothered, but I feel like the average fan…

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Allen Crabbe 25 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (4/6/2017)

Did Allen “Crabbey Patty” Crabbe just single-handedly dad-dick the Timberwolves? The Blazers came back from 15 points down at one point, and a lot of the erased deficit can be attributed to Crabbey Patty and his triples of terror. Plus, his barrage of consecutive three-pointers got the home crowd really involved and all subsequent Timberwolves…

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