Lonzo Ball 15 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (3/26/2018)

I truly believe that a large part of Lonzo Ball’s popularity is due to how fun his name is to say. “Lonzo Ball”. “Lon-zo. Ball.” “Ball” It’s great. Just a really great name, both in print and vocalized. Distinctive, too. The kind of name you can easily build a brand off of. There’s a reason…

Read More

Lonzo Ball 18 Points/11 Assists/6 Threes Full Highlights (3/3/2018)

Real talk incoming: I preferred Lonzo Ball when his poofy hair combined with his pockmarked face to make him look like a slice of pepperoni pizza. Generally speaking, the more an NBA player looks like a food item, the more I like them. Ball, sadly, no longer looks like any type of food. He looks…

Read More

Lonzo Ball 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/11/2018)

I have to admit that I haven’t been keeping up with all of Lonzo Ball’s family drama. Between his dad and his brothers, all the coverage is too much like reading a tabloid, so I just ignore it all. Basically, if it’s not happening in the NBA or it’s not the Olympics I don’t care…

Read More

Lonzo Ball 24 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/22/2017)

Lonzo Ball waited behind a dumpster next to the player’s parking lot at Oracle Arena. It smelled like a year’s worth of expired nacho cheese had just been thrown away, but the smell was the farthest thing from Lonzo’s mind. He had an important mission to carry out. One by one, Warriors players parked their…

Read More

Lonzo Ball 16 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/18/2017)

“Great game, rookie,” said a light voice from somewhere behind. An unmistakable voice. Kobe’s voice. Lonzo stopped walking off the court and looked around, but didn’t see the former Laker anywhere nearby. He had just started walking again when he heard the same voice speak a second time. “Hey, don’t worry about getting your game-winner…

Read More

Lonzo Ball 13 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (12/14/2017)

Thanks to the sensationalist and irresponsible actions of the TNT broadcast crew, my Lonzo Ball three-ilation is ruined. It was to be the ultimate showcase of his wonky side-head form, but now, it will be nothing, because it won’t exist. I will not tolerate a so-called “three-ilation” that doesn’t depict every single three a player…

Read More

Lonzo Ball 17 Points Full Highlights (12/12/2017)

The hype for Lonzo Ball, which had dipped to dangerously low levels, might rebound a bit after tonight. All the elements were there for a breakout game: ESPN, Madison Square Garden, his dad dancing like a maniac in the front row, if Lonzo had scored 50 tonight they probably would’ve stopped the season right there…

Read More

Lonzo Ball 15 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (11/29/2017)

Lonzo Ball may be having one of the worst non-Marcus Smart non-50’s white dude shooting stretches for an NBA player to start his career, but at least he’s doing the other stuff as advertised. His passing isn’t as transcendent as maybe it looked in Summer League, but unless your name is Greivis Vasquez, you don’t…

Read More

Lonzo Ball Triple Double 11 Pts/11 Asts/16 Rebs Full Highlights (11/19/2017)

Lonzo Ball looks even more like a pizza now that he’s cut his hair. His head lost some of the triangular shape that his hair-poof provided, but now it looks more like a crust then ever. And you’ve still got the cheese (his skin), the tomato sauce (the pinkness that develops when he exerts himself),…

Read More

Lonzo Ball Triple Double 19 Pts/13 Asts/11 Rebs Full Highlights (11/11/2017)

Lonzo Ball got a triple-double tonight, the youngest person in NBA history ever to do so. Great. But there are more pressing matters that I need to discuss with you. Urgently. These matters are of the utmost importance, and cannot be ignored. First urgent topic: Lonzo Ball has the most perfect hairline I’ve ever seen….

Read More