Patrick Patterson 18 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

“I’m going to need to take a little break here, Patrick. Nature calls,” said Kings GM Pete D’Alessandro, interrupting the meeting with his player. As D’Alessandro left the room to make a visit to his personal toilet, Patrick Patterson twiddled his thumbs idly.

The phone on the desk rang. Patrick stared at it for a second before answering. Picking up the receiver, he wasn’t able to get in a word before the male voice on the other end asked, “Is this the Sacramento Kings?”

“No, this is Patrick,” he responded, hanging up the phone.

Whistling a made-up tune, the phone rang again not ten seconds later. This time a female’s voice asked the same question. “Is this the Sacramento Kings?”

Patrick responded with a terse, slightly annoyed, “No, this is Patrick!” He put down the phone with a little more force than necessary, and resumed his whistling. But, in a matter of seconds, he was interrupted again by the ringing of the telephone.

A man, different from the first one, repeated the question. “Is this the Sacramento Kings?”

Fuming with rage, Patrick bellowed, “NO!!!! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!!” and slammed down the receiver with all his might. He crossed his arms and muttered, “I am not a Sacramento Kings.”

Just then, D’Allesandro returned from the bathroom. “I heard you take some of my calls,” he said. “And just to let you know, the Sacramento Kings is the name of the franchise.”

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