Marco Belinelli sat on his couch, laptop in lap, glass of Merlot in hand. Directing his browser to youtube.com, he searched “marco belinelli, today”. He always liked to keep track of what people were saying about him on various social media sites.
As usual, some unrelated stuff came up first. Random Spurs videos with him not even featured, some other dudes named Marco and their crappy vlogs, and some of the totally irrelevant video-detritus that comprises most of the site. However, at the bottom of the page, something caught his eye.
“Marco Belinelli thinks he’s a TV chef! Must watch lol funny!”
Knowing what was to come, he clicked the link. He watched as the YouTube version of him sang dramatically and pantomimed hosting a cooking show in his own kitchen from the vantage point of his azalea bushes. Furious, he closed the browser window, cast aside his wine, and grabbed his cell, calling a familiar number.
“Hey DownToBuck, I though I told you to delete that video!”
DownToBuck was suave as always with his response. “DownToBuck is a man of his word. I deleted the video, as you asked. I gain nothing from slandering the name of an NBA player. However, I may have shared the incriminatory video with a few close friends. But it is not my duty to keep after my compatriots. If you are so worried about your internet reputation, I suggest you register a DMCA complaint with YouTube. Have a nice day.”
“Wait, wait a minute!” But there was nothing but silence on the other end. He turned back to his laptop and reopened the video. He looked at the uploader’s name. Timddabeast.
“Damn it, Timmy”.