The Orlando Magic went out and got Ben Gordon so he could provide a veteran presence on a team that is severely lacking in veterans (Luke Ridnour doesn’t count because he’s from Idaho). Gordon can teach these young guys how to win! Or so the thinking goes.
To test out the prevailing wisdom, I went down to the seedy part of town and got a veteran for myself. His name’s Crazy Carl, and his brain is a little screwed up from the Gulf War, but he’s a cool enough dude if you keep him supplied with cigarettes. He’s not really housebroken yet, but I didn’t bring him in to clean, I brought him in to impose his wisdom upon me.
So far all he does is yell about Saddam Hussein, but I’m confident that I’ll come out of this experience with the knowledge it takes to succeed in life. Now I just have to figure out how to stop him from attacking my neighbors. Isn’t the government supposed to help out guys like Crazy Carl?