It is well-known that Robin Lopez is a comic book nerd who likes to go to conventions. I wouldn’t have a problem with that except for one thing: at any con he goes to, he takes the women from all the other deserving nerds.
I mean, he’s not even that attractive if we’re being objective about it. But he’s seven feet tall, he’s pretty much jacked, and his skin tone/last name combo makes him seem “mysterious”. He totally blows all those pimply neckbeards out of the water.
If you are more than a 5/10, you can’t be a nerd. That’s the rule. Everybody knows that rule. But Robin Lopez exists in defiance of that rule, and the end result is that he pulls in a lot of punani at cons while everybody else has to go poonless. That tubby chick dressed up like the princess from Adventure Time? She banged Lopez. That tubby chick whose “Lara Croft costume” is a pair of booty shorts and a tank top? She banged Lopez. That homely chick who squeezed herself into a Sailor Moon outfit that’s five sizes too small? You guessed it.
She banged Lopez.
We can’t win guys. And by “we” I mean “you” since I am done with women forever, and therefore do not have a dog in the fight.