Compiling an end-of-season dunk highlight package presents its own unique set of challenges, the foremost of which is incompetent video editors putting a DeMarcus Cousins dunk (that looked like a poster but really wasn’t) at #14 on the list.
The replay indicates that Taj Gibson simply got out of the way rather then receive an invite to Cousins’ poster party. But there are certain absent-minded highlight creators who were editing the video like normal until it’s almost the end and there’s this middling Cousins dunk left over, so they just stuck it at #14 until their conscience took over and they moved it down to #38, thus requiring total renumbering of the last third of the video.
You may have already formed an opinion on who this moronic highlight maker is, and your hunch would be right: alleged highlight superstar DAWKINS hacked into my computer and edited this video poorly. I had to fix his mistakes. That is the only explanation for the Cousins dunk debacle, plus other poor ranking choices made in this video.
Here’s another thing you can blame on that guy: there are actually way more than a hundred dunks in this video. Here’s the story: out of my vast collection of clippage, I had gathered together every dunk that could possibly be considered top-100 material and put them into one project file. I then teased out the fifty best dunks out of those, intending to make a top fifty video and then an additional “not quite as good fifty” video.
Dawkins then took control of my computer while I was innocently sleeping and used every dunk I had selected to make just one video, even though it was more than a hundred.
My lawyer tells me I shouldn’t blab on the internet about pending lawsuits, but just so everybody knows, I sued Dawkins’ ass. And GD. I’m pretty sure that guy was involved too. Piotr Zarychta is named in the lawsuit as well but that’s because eastern Europeans are usually good at hacking stuff. Ximo Pierto was not involved but this is a public warning to him not to hack my stuff.
I’m uploading this video even in its imperfect state because I am totally done looking at these dunks. I don’t even get hyped for them anymore. DeRozan on Gobert just makes me yawn. Jordan on Monroe? More like BOREdan on MonDO IDIOT. When do new dunks start happening? I’m checking out until then.
Plus, who would even complain about getting to see MORE dunks than advertised? That’s like winning the lottery and then complaining that they paid you five million dollars more than it said on the big check. That’s like taking your food back at McDonald’s because you asked for a medium fry and they gave you a large. If you are honestly annoyed by the more-than-100-ness of this video, you need to reevaluate not only your NBA fandom, but also your entire life.
Oh yeah, and that Will Barton dunk totally should have been top fifty but I didn’t realize how high he jumped. And by “I”, I obviously mean Dawkins, because I had nothing to do with this video other than picking out the dunks and uploading the final result.
That’s all I have to say. Description over. Go watch the video. I have to say it’s still pretty intense even with its flaws. Stop reading right now.