Jake Layman had easily located the home locker room in the Staples Center. By pretending to be a new member of the Clippers’ training staff who had gotten lost in the arena, a security guard had given him step-by-step directions. Now, he pushed open the door and went inside.
The main locker area was empty, but there were splashing noises coming from the showers. Peeking around the corner into the steamy white-tiled room, Jake was relieved to see that there was only one player still in there, and it was exactly the player he wanted to talk to: Blake Griffin.
Blake had his eyes closed as he lathered his naked body with body wash. Jake silently crept up next to him, then whispered in Blake’s ear, “Hello Blake.”
The response to this intrusion was exactly as Jake had expected, and he quickly ducked to avoid Blake’s swung fist. “No need to punch me, Blake. I am not a trainer. I have done nothing to deserve your fists.”
Blake seemed ready to charge headlong into a fight, but restrained himself when he saw that the disturber of his private bathing was just a member of the team he had just soundly beaten. “Man, what the hell are you doing here? If you want some advice from a vet to a rookie, I don’t have any.”
“It’s not that, Blake,” Jake said calmly. “I just wanted to inform you that I was the one who robbed your dunking powers from you.”
Staring in disbelief, it took Blake a few seconds to rebut. “No you didn’t. It was my injury that hampered my athleticism. You can’t just steal powers from people. This isn’t Space Jam.”
“You must not have been watching the game then,” Jake said coolly. “My dunk was as powerful as the ones you performed in your rookie season. Don’t you think it’s a little strange that your dunking prowess is at an all time low at exactly the same time I am on the court dazzling the fans with my incredible leaping ability? It’s because I stole your powers for my own use.” He made a waving motion with his arms and torso to indicate how the transferal of powers had taken place.
“Shut up. That’s nonsense,” Blake replied angrily, but lines of doubt were creasing his forehead. “I could still dunk like that if I wanted to.”
“Sure thing, Blake,” Jake said. “It was so easy to steal your powers. So unprepared and unwitting were you, sleeping soundly in your bed at home. Your girlfriend is a real looker when she has no clothes on, by the way.”
“Man, I’m warning you…” Blake started, looking again like he was ready to fight.
Jake saw that he had overstayed his welcome. “I have to depart now, Blake. If you would like to negotiate the return of your dunking powers, I would be happy to discuss payments, monetary or otherwise.”
“Otherwise?” Blake repeated, confused.
Jake chuckled. “Yeah, something like…your very soul.” He began to walk out of the shower area.
“Hey! Hey! Come back! Hey!” Blake yelled in a concerned voice. “I can pay! I’ll pay whatever you want! Hey! Get back here!”
Jake ignored Blake’s pleas as he walked out of the locker room and back towards his own. “Man, he fell for it so hard,” he said, laughing to himself.