The only thing lamer than layups is free throws. Free throws are the least interesting part of any highlight video; they are boring to the point where a player with too many made free throws is automatically disqualified from my highlight services no matter how many points he scores. “Too many” free throws is a subjective term, but usually, if the free throw total is more than the field goal total, that’s too many free throws.
The only way for a player to counteract an unreasonably large amount of free throws is to dunk it a bunch. Even then, it’s an iffy proposition. In DTB’s book, you need to have at least five dunks for every made free throw in order for the free throw to be properly nullified. That means that Rudy Gobert, having made seven free throws in this game versus six made shots, would have to dunk it 35 times just to get a highlight video out of me.
The math checks out, people. Seven times five is indeed thirty-five no matter how much you want to argue with me about it. I went to school for this stuff. I know how math works. Unlike you, I can count higher than ten, and I don’t need my fingers to do it.
The only reason I made this video is because I wanted to. That’s right; I broke my own free throw rule just because I wanted to. Gobert has had some good games this season and I wanted to get him on my channel. Next time, though the five dunks = one free throw will be in full effect. No comprises.