This week’s biggest busts: Pacers -4, Hornets -3, Pistons -3, Knicks -3, Lakers -3 This week’s biggest successes: Timberwolves +5, 76ers +4, Jazz +3, Wizards +3, Trail Blazers +3, Pelicans +3 1. Golden State Warriors (34-6, 3-0 this week) (last week: #1 [2-1] +0) Stephen Curry still isn’t shooting 40% from three, a fact which…
Read MoreDay: January 15, 2017
Rudy Gobert 19 Points Full Highlights (1/14/2017)
I have gotten to the point where vanilla Rudy Gobert dunks are not enough to excite me. I am a twisted and perverted man; the depravity of my desires knows no limits. I need something harder, something more shocking and disgusting than just Gobert catching an alley-oop with nobody around. What I need is for…
Read MoreTimothe Luwawu-Cabarrot 12 Points Full Highlights (1/14/2017)
Attention Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot: your name takes way too many syllables to say. I’m counting nine distinct phonological units. Maybe you’ve heard of this good player, played for the Lakers a bit, named Shaq? Yeah. Check that out. Only one syllable. That’s why people liked him so much; because they didn’t have to take a sip…
Read MoreAaron Gordon 21 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/14/2017)
If there is a human being on this earth who can dunk from the three-point line, Aaron Gordon is that person. He already won last year’s dunk contest, but imagine him winning it again this year by pretending to do a normal free-throw line slamjam but instead jumping from like 10 feet further back. SICK….
Read MoreElfrid Payton Career High 28 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (1/14/2017)
Last time Elfrid Payton scored a career high, 26 points about a month ago with 14 dimes, I warned people not to try and watch the whole video, because it was simply too much Elfrid Payton highlights. I’m a trained and experienced highlight-watcher, and I couldn’t even manage it. I hated to imagine what would…
Read MoreDevin Booker Career High 39 Points Full Highlights (1/14/2017)
As long as Devin Booker keeps scoring 39 without ever scoring 40, I’m gonna keep putting “Career High” in the titles of the resultant highlight vids. I don’t care that future netizens will be horribly confused by the appearance of three (or more) separate performances when they type “Devin Booker career high” into the holosearch…
Read MoreJahlil Okafor 26 Points Full Highlights (1/14/2017)
The prevailing opinion of Jahlil Okafor has shifted rapidly from “he’s not that good” to “he’s probably the worst player in the league right now look at these on-off stats that I found on some crappy blog because I can only parrot other people’s knowledge”. I’ve seen the stats, and yeah, they’re not that good…
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