Dënniß “The Menaße” ßchrööder was seriously cold-blooded at the end of this game against the Bulls. Actually, his whole team was, but Dënniß’ blood was the coldest and had the highest concentrations of ice. He scored thirteen points (including the go-ahead shot) and added another seven points through his assists in the fourth quarter alone….
Read MoreDay: January 26, 2017
Jae Crowder 23 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
OFFICIAL JAE CROWDER HAIR STATUS: Jae Crowder’s hair looks just as soft and cuddly as ever. Its status as the pillowiest and lushest set of dreadlocks in the league remains unchallenged. There is no hair softer in the organization. It’s like a pile of furry black snakes on his head, but instead of venom, they’re…
Read MoreWayne Ellington 22 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
Wayne “Beef W” Ellington: budget version of Kyle Korver? Sort of. Korver, despite his slumpy-wumps lately, shoots better from three and from the field than Beef W does. And Ellington has never been an “elite” three-point bomber like Korver is. But they play a similar style of running for jumpers off of curls, and neither…
Read MoreCourtney Lee 23 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
Longtime DTB subscribers will remember my audacious, bold, and visionary social media campaign to draw more awareness to Courtney Lee and his uncanny ability to make any team better through his intelligent shooting. My #payAttentionToCourtneyLee hashtag, designed to go viral on every major social media platform of the time, was, however, an abject failure. Nobody…
Read MoreSteven Adams 20 Points/5 Dunks/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
Steven Adams sat in the locker room and stared at his shoes, which were sitting in his duffel bag. He knew there was some special way to put them on, something to do with the strings that were on them, but he couldn’t remember what. His brain felt cloudy and every time he felt close…
Read MoreDario Saric 17 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
Why didn’t Croatians mobilize to vote Dario Saric into the All-Star game? Or did they actually mobilize but their efforts were so minimal that I didn’t even notice? He’s putting up better numbers than Zaza Pachulia, and the whole country of Georgia managed to cast like 500,000 votes for that dude who everybody hates now,…
Read MoreIvica Zubac 12 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
This is one of those times where I feel like I should include the player’s statline either in the title in the video or at the very tippy-top of the description. Ivica Zubac had a good game if you only go by the title of the video and the actions depicted in the video; you…
Read MoreSam Dekker 15 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
You might criticize me for making this vid of Sam Dekker when there are other, possibly more impressive, vids to be made. But remember: I am a white Wisconsinoid male, and it is my perogative to make as many highlights of other white Wisconsinoid males as I can. Would you blame me if I was…
Read MoreOkaro White 10 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
Warning: there is a surprisingly large amount of hype contained within this video. You might want to refresh your antiperspirant, because I got all sweaty when I rewatched this thing. Sweaty because of how hyped I was getting for Okaro White. Going into it, I was thinking his four blocks would be more like “four”…
Read MoreDion Waiters 24 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/25/2015)
Dion Waiters is now, officially, clutch af. He just got done burying the Warriors at the buzzer, now he goes and does almost the same thing against the Nets. I haven’t checked yet, but I bet the official NBA YouTube channel has like 50 new videos depicting his end-of-game explots. 15 of them in regular-motion,…
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