Why haven’t their been locker room fights in Sacramento yet? Their team is well-stocked with players who are known fighters. Matt Barnes will punch anything that looks at his wife the wrong way, anything that looks at HIM the wrong way, or anything that moves. Darren Collison will punch anything that looks like his wife. DeMarcus Cousins, well, I don’t think there’s any known instances of him punching fools, but you know he wants to. And then there’s Ty Lawson sitting by himself in the corner surrounded by empty liquor bottles. That’s like the perfect combination of dudes to put in one place if you want something to happen that involves the violent throwing of fists.
There is nothing DTB likes better than watching a locker room go up in flames because of conflicts between teammates. That’s because my own life is so bland and boring that the only time I feel excitement is when millionaires start punching each other, and it can’t be scripted which is why I don’t watch WWE. It needs to be real millionaires really punching each other because they really hate each other’s guts. I crave that drama, and I thought I would get that with the Kings, but it hasn’t happened yet, and that makes me mad.
So, if Matt Barnes is reading this, can you please just punch one of your teammates? I don’t care who. It could even be a coach, I don’t care. Just please start punching somebody so that my life is worth living again.