Immediately fter going 12-of-15 from the field against the Pistons, Greg Monroe decided to go 12-of-16 from the field against the Nets. The first time made sense: Greg was hyped to be playing against his former team and wanted to inform them that they had made a mistake by prioritizing Drummond over him. This one makes less sense; as far as I’m aware, Greg Monroe has no beef with the Nets, any player on the Nets, or even the borough of Brooklyn itself. It’s possible that he was just taking advantage of the pillowy defensive efforts of one Justin Hamilton and one Brook Lopez, but that’s not a satisfactory answer. I need a narrative. I need a storyline. And if one isn’t apparent to me, I’ll make one up.
So how about this: Greg Monroe arrived to the arena before the game and when he got to his locker there was no pizza there for him to eat. Greg makes it very clear to the staff of every arena that he requires at least two entire pizzas just for himself before every game. And when he got there, there wasn’t any pizza. But wait! There was a lone pepperoni sitting on the carpet next to his locker. So somebody had stolen the pizza. Greg snuck into the Nets locker room to find the entire Nets team having a veritable pizza party WITH HIS PIZZAS. Every player had a slice in their hand. A slice of HIS PIZZA. So then he went out and dominated them even though he didn’t have any pizza in his tummy.
You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if that really happened. I, personally, have done way more reprehensible things in the name of pizza. I would tell the stories but I really would rather not get arrested. The statue of limitations still hasn’t run out.