February 2017 – Page 14

Nicolas Batum 15 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (2/9/2017)

Nicolas Batum grabbed only 2 rebounds in the fourth quarter, leaving him 2 short of a triple-double. I appreciate his restraint in not mindlessly chasing an arbitrary stastical feat, but, uh, that’s kind of what you’re supposed to do. Especially if your team is losing. You crash the glass every time. No one’s gonna call…

Evan Fournier 24 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (2/9/2017)

Earlier in the season, it was possible to say that Evan Fournier was the best player on the Magic. It wasn’t necessarily correct, but you could say it and people wouldn’t laugh you out of the room (not like you could ever find a room of people, outside of Orlando, whose basketball opinions were advanced…

Dario Saric Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (2/9/2017)

Here’s the deal: Dario Saric just scored a career-high 26 points, and it was really sweet. But there are more pressing issues. Namely, that I don’t think that messed up center part of his upper lip is ever going to support mustache-based life-forms. Ever. It certainly doesn’t now, and I don’t see why the situation…

C.J. Miles 23 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (2/8/2017)

Given how Quinn Buckner seems to be rapidly descending into the depths of utter dementia, it’s surprising that he has yet to call any member of the Pacers “Myles Miles”. He repeatedly references a non-existent player named “Thad Turner” and his analysis often devolves into blustery nonsense, so you would think he would be extremely…

Nik Stauskas 16 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (2/8/2017)

DTB’S OFFICIAL RETRACTION: In a past video description I asserted that Nik “Sucksass” Stauskas was like a lesser version of Wayne Ellington. I would like to issue a retraction for that statement. Wayne Ellington would obviously never get seven assists in a game. He might get seven passes TOTAL in a game if he’s lucky….

Shabazz Muhammad 22 Points Full Highlights (2/8/2017)

Shabazz Muhammad was lazily watching TV in his apartment when he heard his phone buzz. Looking down to see who was texting him, he smiled when he saw the familiar name. “Hello friend Shabazz!” read the text. “I hoping you can watch my game in Russia tonight. It will be ten in morning for you…

Kyle O’Quinn 18 Points Full Highlights (2/8/2017)

Well, Joakim Noah is out, a fact which every Knicks fan is sure to be happy about, but their happiness is tempered by the fact that Willy Hernangomez is still not the starter. Nope, the starting center job was given to the center-sized Porzingis, and the starting power forward role has been entrusted to the…

Darren Collison 26 Points Full Highlights (2/8/2017)

I have a pile of scraps of paper on my desk on which I have written NBA predictions. All of them were written during the offseason so you know that none of them are biased by events that transpired after the season opener. Each one is dated with the date that I made the prediction…

Dennis Schröder 24 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (2/8/2017)

Dënniß ßchrööder has been slumping badly from the three-point line for the past few weeks, and is 4-of-25 from that range in the past seven games. Historically, he hasn’t been a fantastic three point shooter, so it’s expected that he’ll hit a cold spell every once in a while, but for people like me who…

Kristaps Porzingis 27 Points Full Highlights (2/8/2017)

The Knicks are kind of messed up right now. Charles Oakley agrees with that assessment. So I don’t blame Kristaps Porzingis for falling into a bit of a slump; it’s hard not to get a little lethargic as an organization implodes around you. Everyone else (except Mindaugas Kuzminskas, and even he is slumping now) is…