Usually, the Suns’ commentators’ nicknames for their players are pretty good. “Airplane Mode” for Derrick Jones Jr. is pretty much perfect: socially relevant, easily understood, and accurate. However, they need to cease using their horrible “Rush Hour” nickname for T.J. Warren starting immediately.
Sure, he’s good at “rushing into traffic”. But rushing is not what rush hour is about. Rush hour is about being stuck in traffic because everybody’s going somewhere at the same time. When I think about “rushing into traffic”, I think about a toddler who’s escaped from daycare. Or a squirrel.
If they wanted to keep the traffic theme going, they could at least call him “Autobahn”, which is like an out-of-control German highway where you can go any speed you want as long as you don’t ever, ever, EVER make any references to Nazis, NEVER EVER EVER. Or they could call him “speedway”. Or they could forget about the traffic theme because it sucks and just use my awesome nickname for him, “Warren Peace.” I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I do, because that nickname is just straight fire. I would put fire emojis here but I don’t know how emojis work. My keyboard doesn’t have a fire emoji button.