Looking at Jordan “Instant Grits” Crawford’s game logs this year is a real trip: this dude just came in with his bucket of buckets and started spraying them everywhere the Pelicans went. From D-League to NBA without breaking a sweat, shooting the same shots and causing the same disbelieving groans from opposing fans. He’d better get a contract next year, or I’m gonna write some angry letters to my local weekly newspaper and maybe lace one or two with them with white powder.
Sidenote: “Instant Grits” is one of the few nicknames this year, not come up with by me, that hasn’t sucked. Compare that nickname to actual grits, which actually DO really suck. I’m usually a fan of southern cuisine, hit me up with that fried okra every time, but man, grits are just nasty as hell. Doesn’t matter if they’re flavored or if they’ve got other crap on them, they are not good. The texture I think is the main problem, but the other problem is that they suck. Straight up. The only way I’m ever eating them again is if I have to impress some chick, but oh yeah, I’m done with women forever, so it looks like I’m also done with grits forever. Thank god.