Paul “The Zipper” Zipser will never live up to his nickname, which could either mean “a guy who’s fast” or “a guy who locks people up with his defense”. Speed can’t be taught and Zipser doesn’t have it; defense CAN be taught, but players with his attributes (okay you made me say it he’s WHITE are you happy now gosh) don’t usually turn into Kawhi-like defensive studs.
Since that nickname advertises Zipser as something he’s not, he needs a new nickname. It can’t reference Nazis in any way because you’re just not allowed to do that, but other aspects of German culture are perfect. Here’s a list I’ve come up with:
-The Sour Kraut
-Kraftwerk
-Zip-Zap Rap
-The Big Schnitzel
-The Heidelberg Horror (or the Heidelberg Hayward)
-Dankeschön
-Azathoth
If you prefer one of these over the other, leave a vote in the comments so I can pretend to care about your opinion.