After returning to his condo and spending some quality time with his bong, Klay had written down a list of things he would need to do to transform the lump of weapons-grade plutonium in his possession into a powerful explosive device capable of blowing up Stephen Curry’s house and allowing Klay to sneak into the…
Read MoreMonth: May 2017
Klay Thompson All 268 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2016-17 Season Three-ilation Part I)
Klay Thompson pulled his trenchcoat closer around his body, feeling conspicuous in his hiding spot underneath the Golden Gate bridge. Suddenly realizing that his greater-than-average height might give away his status as a basketball player, he hunched over to make himself appear shorter. Finally, after what seemed like hours of waiting, but was probably closer…
Read MoreAvery Bradley 23 Points Full Highlights (5/25/2017)
Here’s a fun fact: Avery Bradley tied or exceeded Al Horford in every statistical category last night: points (23 vs. 8), rebounds (4 vs. 3 LOL [lots of laughs]), assists (1 vs 1.), steals and blocks (0 vs. 0), and free throws (1 vs. 0). He laso recorded fewer turnovers (2 vs. 3) and fouls…
Read MoreManu Ginobili 15 Points/7 Assists/1 Final Game? Full Highlights (5/22/2017)
Manu Ginobili stared into the waters of the burbling marble fountain. In the rippling surface he could see a reflection of himself, but it was not a true reflection; no, it was an image of how he had looked when he had first entered the NBA, a decade and a half ago. His face was…
Read MoreKyle Anderson Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (5/22/2017)
A new NBA fan, whose only knowledge of Kyle Anderson is that he scored twenty points for the Spurs in the last game of a sweep (and that he has an infinite forehead), would be surprised to learn that this is only the sixth double-digit scoring game for Anderson in his career. Apparently, the key…
Read MoreMarcus Smart Career High 27 Points/7 Assists/7 Threes Full Highlights (5/21/2017)
This wasn’t supposed to happen. The guy who shot 28% from three (on over 330 attempts) during the regular season wasn’t supposed to go seven of ten from the threezone in a playoff game. Not only that, but, if we’re being honest here, this is the best game of Marcus Smart’s NBA career, and he…
Read MoreThon Maker All 83 Field Goals Full Highlights (2016-17 Season Bucketilation)
Thon Maker, at this particular moment, was very thankful for the extremely dark tone of his skin. His trip to Perth was not a secret, but his middle-of-the-night excursion to the campus of his former high school, Aranmore Catholic College, was very secret indeed. As long as he stayed outside the range of the occasional…
Read MoreJaVale McGee 16 Points Full Highlights (5/20/2017)
When I watched JaVale McGee score the first seven points for the Warriors in this game, I chuckled a little bit to myself. Then I thought, why should I be laughing at him? He’s a talented basketball player in his own right, not a sideshow freak to be mocked. Just because he was doing the…
Read MoreManu Ginobili 21 Points Full Highlights (5/20/2017)
OFFICIAL REASONS WHY MANU GINOBILI SHOULDN’T RETIRE POWER RANKINGS 1. As evidenced by this highlight video, he can still contribute on the court 2. It’s not like his bald spot is getting any worse, right? 3. TIM DUNCAN YOU CAN STILL COME BACK AND REUNITE THE BIG THREE PLEASE 4. Coaching sounds cool in theory…
Read MoreJabari Parker All 92 Dunks Full Highlights (2016-17 Season Dunkilation)
Jabari Parker had his eyes closed, but he knew exactly where he was. The milky white glow pervading through his eyelids was a telltale sign. The fact that his knee felt no pain, despite its ligaments having been critically torn for a second time, was another indicator. He had returned to the so-called “Land of…
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