The Enes Kanter/Steven Adams bromance has, tearfully (I assume at least one of them cried about its termination at some point), come to an end. It was truly a beautiful thing, but not everybody likes beautiful things. Some bad people see beautiful things and, disgusted by the beauty that they provide to the world while they themselves remain ugly and disfigured, yearn only for their destruction. Bad people like Sam Presti.
What’s done is done. There is no un-trading Enes Kanter, unlike when the Thunder got to un-trade Tyson Chandler. As they say, when life give you lemons, make lemonade. We must make the best of a sad situation. We must find a new bromantic parter for Kanter. The Kanterdates (that’s Kanter candidates for you simpletons out there):
Mindaugas Kuzminskas: his eyes look weird, and I don’t think he can grow facial hair.
Kristaps Porzingis: you just know that this dude thinks he’s too cool to have a deep, meaningful relationship with another dude.
Ramon Sessions: a Turkish adonis and a Mexican midget basically have no chance as a couple.
Kyle O’Quinn: beard game checks out. I think that’s the only requirement for an adequate bromance with Kanter, so it looks like he wins!
I’ll start on the fanfiction right away.