I spent pretty much the whole offseason telling anyone who would listen, and also a lot of people who wouldn’t, about how Khris Middleton was one of the best second bananas in the whole Eastern Conference. I was dedicated. I sent out mass letters to everyone in my state, I set up a call center that just robocalled people and played a message of me saying how Middleton was a perfect fit next to Giannis, I wrote editorials to my newspaper (none of which got published thanks to POLITICS), I even rented a plane and put a banner trailing on it that said “Khash Money Deuces”.
The plane didn’t work out so well though since I didn’t really know how to fly it good. You know they should have more safeguards in place before they let people rent those things, I just lied and said I knew how to fly it and they seriously gave it to me with like no other checks. After fiddling with it for a while I did get off the ground but I was back on the ground pretty quickly and then the plane was kinda messed up. All bent and wonky looking. Luckily I gave the plane people a fake name (“Mr. Down To Buck”, I can’t believe they bought it), and I bailed fast from the scene so no harm done to me at least. And this aviator helmet I snagged is totally sweet, I’m wearing it right now. It’s good for highlights too.
Anyway I was going pretty hard on hyping Middleton up and he goes and stinks up arenas across the country with his stinky poo to start the season. Thanks, dude. I should’ve known not to bandwagon him too hard because he always starts off his seasons like this. He’ll pick it up, tonight’s probably the start of great things from him, but in the meantime he made DownToBuck look like a god damn fool.