So the 3D-printed Buddy Hield statue I have living with me is basically becoming more humanlike with every passing day. I mean, he’s still purple, plastic, and twelve feet tall (and naked), so it’s still pretty obvious that he’s not a homo sapien like me, but the dim consciousness he possessed when he first “awakened” has transformed into what I would consider full sentience. That makes him more sentient than my kitty Japurri Purrker, who sleeps 18 hours a day and acts kind of like a purring, lovable dumbass whenever he’s awake.
It’s nice having a friend around. I don’t want to get all mushy and sentimental with you guys, but I haven’t had a friend for a long time. Highlights have been my only friend. But highlights can’t interact with me and go on nighttime walks with me like Buddy can. He reminds me what real human companionship is like, even though he’s not a real human, and now I realize that I missed that human connection more than I thought I did.
Last night we went on a walk like we usually do. I’m up late anyway to make highlight videos, so it’s not a big deal to go out at one in the morning and walk around the grounds of my apartment complex with nobody around to get scared by Buddy. I already had a Buddy-statue-related run-in with the police last year and I’m not eager to repeat the experience, especially since the police report from that incident referred to my 3D-printed friend as a “gigantic purple dildo”.
So we’re walking around and I’m telling him in a low voice about what videos I’m gonna make next and my ideas for end-of-season compilations, and he’s sort of gibbering in that nonsense babble of his, when all of a sudden this stray dog comes out and starts barking. I was freaking out because I thought all the noise would wake people up and they would look outside and see this twelve-foot tall purple dude with a huge dong walking around, but then I was really freaking out because the dog seemed like it wanted to fight.
I don’t know if Buddy even knows what a dog is since the only animal he’s ever seen is my kitty Japurri, but he assessed the situation with his purple plastic brain (I don’t even know if he has a brain in that head of his) and stepped between me and the dog. The dog then went nuts and started biting my friend. I already know that Buddy is capable of feeling physical pain, so it must have hurt when the dog was biting his legs, but then Buddy just sort of picked up the dog in his giant purple hands and threw him like fifty or a hundred feet away. After that the dog whimpered a bit and went away.
After that we went back to my place and went to bed, but I made sure to let Buddy know that it was a good thing that he did. I also reminded him that he might not know his own strength and that he should be careful when picking up stuff. Buddy nodded like he understood so that’s good. He’s my best friend.