Jusuf Nurkic vs. DeMarcus Cousins. Most intense center matchup in recorded (as opposed to unrecorded, frickin’ Wilt 100 points full highlights why do they not exist) NBA history? An especially enterprising entrepreneur would set up some sort of celebrity MMA match between the two and charge a ton of money for it on Pay-Per-View. They wouldn’t be able to offer much in the way of technical fighting skills, but it would be unmatched in pure unadulterated hatred.
No punches were thrown in this particular battle. No punches, no kicks, maybe a harsh word or two at most. NBA purists are pleased; this was solely a battle on the court in the game of basketball. Cousins came out on top, because despite his numerous flaws and emotional lesbianism he is a top center in the league who few can truly contain. Nurkic had his moments, including 11 straight Blazer points in the first quarter, but only ended up with 19 for the game.
I’ve been noticing that his higher-scoring games come when Portland’s chucky guards look for him in the pick-and-roll. I’m not going to suggest that they run that play every time down the court to get Nurkic some more buckets, but maybe they should think about it.