When Dirk Nowitzki heard his doorbell ring, he strongly considered not even getting up from his couch. It was only when he remembered that he had a large shipment of German meat products arriving soon, a shipment that he would have to sign for, did he slowly lift his tall body off the comfortable sofa and amble to the front door.
When he opened the door, he did not find a crate of German meat, nor did he find a UPS driver holding out something to sign. Instead, there was a bearded old man standing there, draped in a white robe and holding a golden pocketwatch in his hand. For a few seconds, the ticking of the watch was the only sound.
“Has my time finally come?” Dirk asked, once he realized that he would have to be the first to speak.
Father Time shook his head. “No, Dirk. There is time for you yet. But I have brought with me an urgent message from a Mr. DownToBuck.” Placing his watch in a pocket obscured by the folds of his robe, he withdrew a scroll of heavy, cracked paper.
“I think I know where this is going,” Dirk muttered as Father Time began to read.
“For immediate release: DownToBuck, one of the most prominent and successful NBA highlight channels, announced today that Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks is officially eligible to receive DTB highlight videos. This decision was made after careful deliberation and the delicate weighing of various factors of varying importance, including but not limited to, Nowitzki’s age, Nowitzki’s impending retirement, Nowitzki’s points per game average, and DownToBuck’s desire for more video views.” Having reached the end, Father Time rerolled the paper and replaced it in his pocket.
“So DTB just gives you his press releases and you have to read them to people?” Dirk asked, purposely not addressing the content of the message he had just received.
Father time nodded somberly. “Without my knowledge, and perhaps by accident, the cosmic hierarchy got rearranged, so DownToBuck is now my ‘boss’, so to speak.”
“Weird,” Dirk replied. He was trying to determine the ramifications of this new development. He supposed that getting a few extra highlight videos didn’t affect him that much.
Suddenly getting a surprised look on his face, Father time again reached into his pocket. “I almost forgot. I know you were expecting something different when you opened the door, so I got you this.” He pulled out a package of four bratwursts and handed it to Dirk. “I have to bid you farewell, Dirk. Father Time’s duties are endless. We will meet again sometime soon, I expect.”
“Yeah, probably,” Dirk said. “Thanks for the bratwurst.”
Father Time took out his pocketwatch, raised his arms, then popped out of existence. Dirk walked back into his house, but instead of returning to his couch, he sat down in front of his computer. If DownToBuck was going to make highlight videos for him, he might as well watch and see what they were all about.