I felt really bad for Alex “Bald Mamba” Caruso when he got roasted for his follicular inferiority on national TV by three dumbasses and Shaq. Whose idea was it to put the crew of Inside the NBA on to actually commentate a game? That was basically the worst garbage ever. They’re good when they’re on a set, but I think the pace of the game was too much for their overtaxed-by-the-requirement-of-breathing minds.
I mean, it’s not Caruso’s fault that he was simultaneously blessed with the athleticism and build to play in the NBA and cursed with a head that doesn’t want to retain hair. He’s doing the best he can.
It is with that said that I promise to you that I will not make fun of his baldness again at any point in the season. That cruel nickname I furnished him with will remain my one and only poke at his upstairs situation. And I expect the same from you all. No comments about his appearance will be permitted. If you do dare to make a snide remark on his appearance, I will ban you forever from Runescape. Permaban. I don’t care if you have 99 firemaking. That is how serious I am about this.