Sometimes I wonder if aliens came and abducted the real version of Trey Lyles, and, in the spirit of intergalactic hospitality, gave us a cloned version of him that was way better at basketball. Because Lyles really, really sucked in his second year, and now he’s legit good.
It wouldn’t even be that hard for aliens to do what I just described. They have the technology and they have the monetary resources. Their economy is so advanced that every member of their alien race lives in complete luxury, drinking a uranium-based beverage that would cost a million dollars per liter if it were synthesized here on Earth out of terrestrial resources, so it’s not like they don’t have the money to throw at NBA player cloning projects. Maybe the aliens really hate Mormons or something so they’re punishing the state of Utah by creating a new version of Lyles that’s a stud at the exact time he gets traded to the Nuggets. Or maybe the aliens really like smoking weed or whatever their weed anologue is out there on their home planet, so they wanted to do Denver a favor.
The more I look into this the more I’m sure it happened. If you like at all of Lyles’ social media accounts, there are periods of time that you can’t account for. It’s like he wasn’t around to post things. It’s like he was missing. Because he WAS missing. He got abducted by aliens who conducted sick experiments on him and then made a copy of him that wasn’t a hopeless bricklayer from outside five feet. And now the old version of Lyles is laboring on some prison planet somewhere, where he has a relatively comfortable life but his cell is made out of lasers that will kill him instantly if he tries to escape, and he probably shares a cell with Brandon Jennings because when was the last time you saw Brandon Jennings either?