The three-pointer by Ersan Ilyasova at 1:00 of this vid might be the wettest three of the season so far. Scratch that. It IS the wettest three of the season so far. A perfectly perfect rainbow, dropping directly into rim and volcanoing the net. If that is not enough to get you to watch this…
Read MoreMonth: January 2018
Johnny O’Bryant 16 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Johnny “Irish Kobe” O’Bryant. In a prior video, I foolishly re-appropriated his well-earned nickname, furnishing it instead on the unworthy Pat Connaughton. I figured, hey, Johnny isn’t using it, so why not give it to someone who could do something with it? Boobery. Utter boobery…
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic 23 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
If Jusuf Nurkic was a deli meat, what kind of deli meat would he be? It’s a tough question. At first I was totally like “salami” because salami is a pretty good deli meat, but not the best one, kind of like how Nurkic is a pretty good player but not the best one. So…
Read MoreSkal Labissiere 17 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
Whatever Marquese Chriss did to stop being so garbage, can he please tell Skal Labissiere what it was so that we can get the Skal of last year back? Alternatively, can some enterprising Kings fan go over to Dave Joerger’s place and pound his nuts with a sledgehammer while he sleeps while yelling “WE WANT…
Read MoreMarquese Chriss 17 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
Something has happened to Marquese Chriss. He had been, up until a few games ago, been playing like total unadulterated booty. Like, I was seriously wondering what was going on with him because of how bad he was sucking. Not just kind of passively noticing like I usually do. This really concerned me. Was he…
Read MoreT.J. Warren 31 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
I’m running out of adjectives to describe the way T.J. Warren gets frickin’ buckets. I did a rough count, and there’s only like 50 or so adjectives in the English language. Total. And I’ve used like 40 of them already trying to detail how Warren goes out onto the court and scores two-point field goals….
Read MoreMichael Beasley 18 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2018)
When Kristaps Porzingis is having an off night, like he was in this game, responsibility to get buckets falls to one Michael Beasley. Other players can try and do their part, but no one really wants Doug McDermott to try and do more than he already does. Or Courtney Lee. I guess Enes Kanter can…
Read MorePat Connaughton 16 Points Full Highlights (1/1/2018)
Pat “Irish Kobe” Connaughton (sorry Johnny O’Bryant I’m temporarily repurposing your nickname) may be one of the least stat-prone players in the league. Like a white Tony Snell. Just kind of out there, sometimes shooting threes, sometimes not, acting as a 5th man who doesn’t necessarily need or even want the ball. Still, he’s a…
Read MoreKris Dunn 22 Points Full Highlights (1/1/2018)
It is time to get mad at NBA referees. Just like the last time this happened, and the time before that, and all the times to come. If we get mad, something will happen. It hasn’t yet, but it will. We just have to get really, really mad at NBA referees and let them know…
Read MoreEvan Turner 22 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/1/2018)
Evan Turner is getting paid SO MUCH MONEY. Holy damn. Blazers fans are already acutely aware of this fact, and maybe everyone else is as well, but I’m still surprised every time I look at Portland’s cap situation. What were they thinking with that? He was fine in Boston, maybe edging towards “good”, but did…
Read More