Whenever I have to make a Marco Belinelli highlight video, I can’t stop thinking to myself, man, I could really go for a big plate of pasta right now. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is (it’s morning here in Wisconsin right now), or whether I’ve just eaten (hint: the pre-packaged breakfast food I ate this morning has a brand name which rhymes with “Cop Farts”), the presence of Belinelli and his never-met-a-shot-he-didn’t-like attitude just makes me want to eat some kind of pasta with sauce and cheese smothered all over it.
Unfortunately, all the restaurants where I could theoretically acquire pasta are closed right now and I’m too much of a moron to make it at home for myself. I have some Kraft Easy-Macs in my fridge but those don’t count. They’re tasty but they’re not authentic Italian. Here in America we know all about authentic Italian food because Olive Garden and Pizza Hut serve it to us.
Anyway, I’m trying very hard to suppress my cravings while writing this description, but it’s not working because Belinelli even looks like pasta with his paleness and his flabby muscle tone. He pretty much had a revenge game on the Hornets, with whom he played last season, but all I can think about how he probably celebrated after the game with a pasta extravaganza.