Zach Collins 12 Points Full Highlights (4/17/2018)

Does or does not Zach Collins kinda totally look like a serial killer? He’s handsome in a cold kind of way, with the 50’s-style haircut, the sharp jawline that could probably withstand hits from a sledgehammer, the lanky tallness, and those steely blue eyes. But he also looks slightly unhinged, like there is nothing behind his eyes except a desire to manipulate people’s emotions and ultimately murder them in calculated, precise ways.

This sounds like a good start for a series of video descriptions, but writing about a remorseless spree-killer strangling hitchhikers in the mountains (who uses his strange yet compelling good looks to lure young people into his vehicle which has a horrifying collection of blood-spattered murder implements in the trunk) is way less funny than say, writing about a deranged Blazers center who is prone to bouts of destructive rage and the execution of ill-thought-out revenge plots against ex-teammates. So I don’t think I’m going to go that route. I’m just saying, though, that Zach Collins kinda definitely looks like the type of dude who would just, you know, want to kill a bunch of people and not leave behind any evidence except for carving cryptic messages into the bark of nearby trees.

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