The good news for Jae Crowder is he scored a career-high 30 points. That’s great! The bad news is that he (by virtue of being on the Utah Jazz) let Kawhi Leonard score also a career-high 45. Weighing the two performances in my mind, it’s clear that Crowder’s is better, if only because a player like him scoring 30 is something special and a superstar scoring 45 isn’t really. In fact, we should be dumping on Leonard right now for his career-high being so low. 45? That’s it? This is the guy who is supposed to be MVP? Pfffft.
The other part of this description was going to be me bringing up the obscure definition for the word “crowder” which I thought meant “a group of cats”. Turns out I was thinking of “clowder”, so that sucks. I had some cat anecdotes all ready to go, like how Crowder’s hair makes an appealing scratching post for them. Wiktionary claims that a “crowder” is “one who plays on a crwth”, which is apparently a type of musical instrument? I have some problems with that, though, the first being that that word doesn’t have any god-damn vowels. What is this, Serbian? Get outta here with that. We speak English here.
How did Crowder end up with a surname like that anyway? Somewhere along the line his culture got taken from him and replaced with some European stuff with which he has no real connection. Isn’t that messed up or what? Sorry, we’re getting off track here, but I don’t have anything to say about a 30-point game that was just a bunch of threes and layups.