Devin Booker walked up to Kelly Oubre’s locker and pointed at the terrarium that was on the shelf. “You keeping pets in here now, too?” Kelly Oubre sighed. “Devin, just when I think that you could not get any more ignorant, a statement leaves your mouth whose complete inanity surpasses even my lowest expectations for…
Read MoreMonth: January 2019
Ante Zizic Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2019)
What I’m going to say next is going to sound really weird, so I will promise you before hand that my mental faculties are all present and accounted for. I am of completely sound mind as I write this. Here we go. Prepare yourselves: Is Ante Zicic, like, the best player on the Cavs right…
Read MoreNikola Jokic Triple Double 19 Pts/11 Rebs/12 Asts Full Highlights (1/19/2019)
When I looked at the box-score of the Cavs-Nuggets game at halftime, with the Nuggets up by 24 points, I actually said out loud “Jokic isn’t going to get to play again.” Those are the words I said. The only reaction I got at the time was from my cat Japurri Purrker, who looked up…
Read MoreDion Waiters 21 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2019)
Recently, Dion Waiters took to the media to complain about his minutes situation since returning from injury. I can see both sides of this issue. On one side, Erik Spoelstra is kind of hamstrung by the construction of the Heat roster. Wayne Ellington was already getting DNP’s, so it’s apparent that there’s no extra shooting…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 35 Points/1 Game-Winner Full Highlights (1/19/2019)
Unfortunately, I wasn’t actually watching the conclusion of this game live. I had no reason to think the Pistons would squander their lead, and the Pistons themselves are at the very bottom of teams I want to waste my time watching, so, while I regret missing Buddy Hield’s heroics, I don’t exactly regret missing the…
Read MoreBam Adebayo 21 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/19/2019)
I feel like Bam Adebayo is going to be an All-Star this season, which will put an end to his videos appearing on my channel at least in the short-term. And this prediction isn’t even that outlandish, because, if you look at the centers in the East, you’ll realize that most of them are nowhere…
Read MoreRoyce O’Neale 16 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
It’s no coincidence that the Jazz have won all their games since Royce “Shaqueale” O’Neale was inserted into the starting lineup. Actually, I’m pretty sure it is a coincidence, because there’s no way that O’Neale, with his sporadic scoring and general wallflower-ness, is impacting the game in such a large fashion that he is causing…
Read MoreMarco Belinelli 19 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
Marco “Marcoroni and Threes” Belinelli has been on a nice run for the Spurs lately, averaging 18 in his last five appearances. He scored 19 points against the Timberwolves in this one. And that’s all I have to say about that. You want more description? Too bad. These descriptions are supposed to be short and…
Read MoreRudy Gay 22 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
I’m freaking out right now, because I literally can’t remember a single thing about Rudy Gay’s multi-year tenure in Sacramento. He was there for 3.5 seasons, basically averaged 20 points during that time, and I can’t even bring to mind an image of him wearing the jersey, much less doing anything while wearing it. Did…
Read MoreShai Gilgeous-Alexander 24 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
I’m not hearing enough Shawn Livingston comparisons for Shai Gilgeous-Alexander. They’re probably being made, but I’m not hearing them, and I shouldn’t have to go spelunking in the most depraved depths of Clippers fandom to do so. These comparisons should be being shouted from the loftiest mountaintops through a megaphone pointed at my apartment. Here’s…
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