“No offense Kelly, but your idea kinda sucks,” Devin Booker said. Kelly Oubre rolled his eyes, which was a pointless reaction given that their conversation was taking place over the phone. “Last time I checked, only one of us has track record which demonstrates their success in monetizing online video content. And it’s me, not…
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Kelly Oubre Career High 39 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (2/7/2020)
“Thanks for agreeing to come over,” Kelly Oubre said as he led James Harden through the entryway of his modest Phoenix apartment. “I know we’re enemies on the court, but I hope we can be friends off it.” “Your business plan intrigues me,” James said. “The money I couldn’t care less about. But more exposure…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 30 Points Full Highlights (2/5/2020)
I just saw on the Twatter that the Suns are fielding calls on Kelly Oubre with less than a day to go before the trade deadline. I haven’t seen anybody say that a deal is imminent (other than perhaps the plebs on Twatter who don’t even have a blue checkmark), but it’s interesting that the…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 21 Points Full Highlights (2/3/2020)
Kelly Oubre is one of the highest-scoring players remaining on my channel with his 18.5 PPG per game. My official drop-dead cutoff for DTB eligibility is 20 PPG per game, so Oubre’s not quite there yet, but I’ve kicked out a bunch of players who are objectively worse scorers than he is, so I’m not…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 27 Points Full Highlights (1/31/2020)
I’m not the guy who gets salty over bad reffing. Even when it affects my preferred teams, I try not to let bad calls get to me by reminding myself that they happen to every team with roughly the same frequency. The challenge system, while not perfect, has moved the league in the correct direction…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 27 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2020)
From a theoretical mathematics perspective (a branch of scholarship which I am intimately familiar with), how much of Kelly Oubre’s 27-point performance was negated by the fact that he committed an offensive foul with fifteen seconds left and the Suns down by three? To set the stage a bit more, Oubre had the ball behind…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 25 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2020)
Remember: the ‘Zards traded this dude for Trevor Ariza. Trevor Ariza. Not even anyone good. Trevor Ariza. Now, I understand that they traded him because they didn’t want to have to pay him during the offseason and wanted to get some value for him before he went away forever, but still. Trevor Ariza. Trevor Ariza….
Read MoreKelly Oubre 22 Points/1 Block Full Highlights (1/10/2020)
I would estimate that the NBA would become a full 1 percent less fun without Kelly Oubre running around doing all his Kelly Oubre things. That doesn’t sound like a lot (probably because 1 is the lowest non-negative integer besides 0), but when considering the total amount of fun that the NBA contains (which is…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 29 Points Full Highlights (1/3/2020)
I don’t know for sure, but it seems like Kelly Oubre’s overall cockiness has grown quite a bit as the season and his career has gone on. I don’t remember him being so flamboyant with the ‘Zards, maybe I’m just blocking it out like I did with most ‘Zard-related stuff from around that time, but…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 26 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/1/2020)
Okay, so apparently the new thing that Kelly Oubre does is blow kisses to everyone and everything after he makes a bucket. That’s cool. Going for the Gorgeous George shtick, acting vaguely effeminate while antagonizing the crowd. People already almost seem to care more about the personalities than the actual game, and if that’s going…
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