Cody Zeller went 13 of 14 from the field in this game, so the first question on everyone’s minds will be “well, what did his missed shot look like?”. I’ll ask you to guess first before telling you. Did he attempt a poster dunk on DeMarcus Cousins and fail but not because he got it blocked? Did he shoot a three and clank it off the back iron? Did he miss a layup? An ill-advised floater? There are a lot of ways to miss a shot in the NBA. Way more ways than to make a shot, come to think of it. For all you know, he got the ball in the backcourt and threw a baseball pass that bonked off the backboard.
Prepare to be disappointed. Zeller “missed” his shot in the lamest way possible: he got it “blocked” by Cousins, but it was one of those lame strip-blocks that shouldn’t even really count as a block (and thus not as a shot attempt).
Other than that anomaly, Zeller was perfect (unlike his hairline, ZING!). If you’ve been watching Hornets games this year (you haven’t don’t lie), or if you’ve watched one of my other Zeller vids from this year, you know what you’re going to get: layups and dunks. He was supposed to have something of a jumper coming out of college, and I guess this would be the game where he could maybe hit one (13 field goals is a lot without at least one jumper, just ask Shaq), but no. Just LAMEups and barely-impressive dunks. You wonder why this description sucks? Because a performance this lame doesn’t deserve a funny story about him getting torment by little green gremlins who’ve come to steal his hair.
Sorry if I sound bitter. This was really a great game for him, considering his obvious limitations. He kind of made the Warriors (mostly Cousins) his own personal bitchslave, even if his team lost. I still can’t believe that people thought Cousins would make the Warriors better.