Elfrid Payton has now recorded THREE straight triple-doubles for the Pelicans. I’m guessing that’s not any kind of NBA record both because Russell Westbrook exists and because the commentators didn’t lose their minds with joy at the exact moment that Payton scored his tenth point, but it’s still a Pelicans record. While the first triple-double in the streak was illegitimate due to the stat-padded pass at the end of the game that allowed Payton to record his tenth assist, I’ve mellowed on my stance for that one. I’ll allow it to stay in the record books as long as it gets an asterisk which reads:
*The final assist of this triple-double came in the final five seconds of a lost game.
Now I’m over here thinking, when was the last time I did a good thing three times in a row? Two times in a row, that’s easy, but three times in a row usually requires either a regimented plan for doing the good thing at the same time every day, or an external helpful/motivational force. Since I have no planning and no motivation in my life, it is very difficult to, for example, exercise three days in a row or eat healthy food three days in a row or not read embarrassing Naruto fanfiction three days in a row (do not say the word “Mpreg” around me) or give my cat his steroid eye drops three days in a row. Highlight videos do not count as a “good thing” in this thought experiment. Highlight videos are my life. They’re a part of me. If I were to refuse my calling to make highlight videos, I would probably explode from internal tension.
So, when contrasted against all my failures as a human being, Elfrid Payton’s triple-double streak is like some untouchable peak of human excellence which I can only stare gape-jawed at. You should see my jaw right now. It is totally agape.