Kelly Oubre carefully placed the fourth of four iPhones on a tripod pointed at a spot in front of the locker-room mirror. The other three iPhones were also on tripods and varying distances from the apparent focus of the shot, a stool sitting in front of the mirror.
“Hey Richaun, come over here and make sure I’m in focus in all of these,” Kelly called out, beckoning to Richaun Holmes, who was at the other end of the room.
Richaun walked over towards the array of phones, looking confused. “Where’d you get all these phones?” he asked, ignoring Kelly’s directive to check that they were all set up properly.
Kelly rolled his eyes. “I bought them with money. How else would I get them?”
Richaun shrugged. “Weird flex, but okay.”
“I’m not flexing,” Kelly insisted. “Now are you gonna help me out or what? I can’t check these damn things myself because I have to be in the shot. It’s not a shot of empty air.”
Walking to each of the phones one by one and peered at each of their screens. “Looks fine to me,” Richaun said. “Why do you need so many cameras on you anyway? You filming your ad for the video dating service?”
This joke was met with more eye-rolling from Kelly. “I swear this team has even more dumbasses than the Wizards did. For your information, what I’m going to film is poised to be a way bigger boost to my off-court persona than any stupid dating service ad. It’s the first video for my new YouTube channel.”
Richaun looked doubtful. “If you’re gonna start a vanity project, you might as well pay a professional camera crew to follow you around.”
“Why would I pay money to somebody else when I can do it this way and get YouTube to pay ME?” Kelly retorted. “When the self-produced male-grooming videos on ‘Wave Papi’s Man-Overs’ start raking in the cash, you’ll be begging to get a guest appearance at a 2% royalty rate.”
“Whatever,” Richaun replied, walking away. “Have fun with your makeup tutorials.”
“IT’S NOT JUST GOING TO BE MAKEUP TUTORIALS!” Kelly yelled after his retreating teammate. “I’M DOING MAN-OVERS TOO! MAN MAKEOVERS! AND PRODUCT REVIEWS!” When he didn’t get a response, he turned back to the mirror and double-checked his hair. Some people just couldn’t contain their jealousy for his superior looks, his undeniable charisma, and his savvy business sense.