“Yo Kelly, what’s up with all the iPhones pointed-”
“CUT! CUT!” Kelly yelled in exasperation, interrupting his monologue to glare at Tyler Johnson, who had just walked into his impromptu video production studio that was set up in the bathroom of the visitor’s locker room. “You absolute idiot. Can you not see that I’m in the middle of something very important here?”
Tyler looked at each of the four tripodded iPhones in turn. Each of them was set to record video, and, in fact, were still recording. “Man, you’re really going all out for Instagram likes. You know, most people just use one phone and they don’t edit anything at all.” He then noticed the wide-ranging array of skincare products that was laid out on the counter in front of the bank of mirrors. After staring in confusion at the pile of tubes and canisters, he looked back at his teammate, who was holding an applicator brush and a palette of some type of makeup in his hands. “Wait. What’s all this?”
“Try using your brain for once, man,” Kelly replied angrily. “You’ve just walked onto the set of my new YouTube venture, entitled ‘Wave Papi’s Man-Overs’, and completely ruined my latest video.”
“Man-Overs?” Tyler repeated.
Kelly rolled his eyes. “Man makeovers,” he explained. “I’m giving the everyday man practicable tips for improving their appearance through makeup tutorials, product reviews, and live makeovers of especially helpless cases.” He held up the powder that he had been carefully applying to his face before the interruption. “I had to pay for this out of my own pocket, but when I become the top male appearance channel on YouTube, companies will be throwing their products at me left and right, begging me to review them.”
“Sounds real cool,” Tyler said, obviously not meaning his words. “I’ll leave you to it. You can just edit me out.”
Kelly reached out and grabbed Tyler’s arm as he walked away, having come up with a brilliant, spur-of-the-moment way to salvage his ruined episode. “Wait! You’re an ugly dude with no ability to take care of his own appearance. You’d be the perfect candidate for a Man-Over courtesy of Wave Papi.”
Tyler pulled his arm out of Kelly’s grasp. “Watch who you’re calling ugly, dude.”
Not caring that he had apparently insulted his teammate by telling him the hard truth, Kelly pressed on. “People will relate to you, man. They’ll be like, ‘here’s this caveman dude, and now, through the power of makeup, he’s a 6/10 and can talk to women without feeling like a complete loser’. And you’ll share in the ad revenue for sure.”
Walking silently out of the bathroom, Tyler apparently wasn’t convinced by Kelly’s intelligently-presented, highly-persuasive argument.
Kelly sighed and turned back to the mirror. Double-checking his half-applied makeup, he was relieved to see that it hadn’t been disturbed during the lengthy conversation with his teammate. Settling back on his stool and making sure he was in frame, he started applying the powder to his other cheek, all the while describing the process in painstaking detail to a viewership base that would undoubtedly number in the millions. Every appearance-conscious male in the world would soon know the name “Wave Papi”.