Just to clue you in to some of the day-to-day struggle of an NBA highlights superstar: I had to type out the title of this video 14 seperate times before I was able to correctly put “Dwayne” instead of “Dwyane”. And I had to do a few takes on that previous sentence as well. Dwyane Wade has corrupted the name forever, and I don’t think I can ever have the damage he’s done to my spelling ability undone. Maybe once he’s retired for a few years I can start the rehabilitation.
Dwayne “Correctly Placed Y” Bacon just got done dropping a career-high 20 points last game, a feat for which I honored him with a “Career High” in the video title. Little did I know that he would extract from that performance a highly potent form of pure confidence, and inject that confidence straight into his left eyeball. Just right in there. With the biggest needle he could find at the animal supply store, usually reserved for horses. Just straight into the eyeball. It made a little popping noise when he penetrated the vitreous, and then some gloopy sounds started happening as he pushed in the syringe. And then the excess confidence was kinda dripping out of the hole in his eye, but enough of it stayed in there for him to score 24.
So if you’re wondering why he was looking a little more “intense” during this game, that’s probably why. I don’t think the NBA tests for that stuff, so he’ll be good. All his biological indicators should be reading at normal levels anyway.