It’s been established by insider Celtics locker room sources that Daniel Theis and Aron Baynes often get into MMA-style fistfights because they both view the other as stealing minutes from themselves. These fights are tinged with WWII overtones thanks to the Germany vs. Australia angle.
You might ask, “which insiders are these and how were these facts established?” That’s a fair question, so I will answer it. I am the Celtics insider that has established these facts, and I established them by disguising myself as a janitor in order to observe the locker room up close and possible. Usually, janitors aren’t allowed into the locker room immediately before and after games due to the possibility of leaked information, but I’ve established myself as being willing to clean up “bathroom incidents” (to put it delicately), so I pretty much walk in and out as I please. That’s how I know that Theis and Baynes are beating the tar out of each other on a regular basis, sometimes more than once a day.
I only bring this up because I’m curious if people would be willing to pay money for videos of these violent encounters. It would be way too easy to plant a camera that would capture them throwing punches and kicks at each other. The only problem is, the two of them are often naked when these fights occur, so I would have to get familiar with pixelization technology. But I think, with the proper pixelization, there would be a market for these videos. Or I could just upload them for free onto WorldStarHipHop.