Daniel Theis 15 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (9/25/2020)

As soon as he checked in, Enes Kanter made an immediate impact on this game, getting two buckets in his first minute of action. When I witnessed it, the first thought spontaneously generated by my tangled mass of neurons and axons that could charitably be called a “brain” was “Daniel Theis is not going to…

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Daniel Theis 18 Points Full Highlights (9/9/2020)

Daniel Theis is completely outplaying Marc Gasol in this series and I am loving every moment of it. We’re not going to bring their nationalities into it (not that Germans and Spaniards hate each other as far as I know) but we are going to bring their continentalities into it: both are from Europe so…

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Daniel Theis 15 Points/1 Kick Received Full Highlights (9/7/2020)

Fifteen points is one point shy of the OFFICIAL DTB POINTS THRESHOLD for Daniel Theis, which is sixteen points. There is a reason why the ODTBPT has “OFFICIAL” as part of its name: it’s because I legally can’t make a highlight video for a player when they score fewer than that many points. You might…

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Daniel Theis 20 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2020)

One sad thing about Tommy Heinsohn doing fewer and fewer Celtics games is that we might never get to hear first-hand accounts of what Daniel Theis looks like in the shower (or, as Heinsohn would say, “in the SHOWAH”). If Mike Gorman or Brian Scalabrine have gotten any sneak peaks, they’re not sharing the details….

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Daniel Theis Career High 25 Points/6 Dunks Full Highlights (2/21/2020)

“Waitress! Waitress! We gotta get ANOTHER ROUND OF STEINS OVER HERE!!!!” yelled Brad Wanamaker exuberantly as he slammed his empty mug of beer on the table. “Germany rules!!!!” As if to emphasize his love of Germany, he ripped a German flag from the wall and wrapped it around him like a cloak. “I’m glad you…

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Daniel Theis 16 Points Full Highlights (1/24/2020)

Daniel “Theis Theis Baby” Theis has been good enough for the Celtics that the usual calls for them to trade for a center at the deadline have been muted. At least, that’s my impression of things. Maybe there are crowds of Celtics fans who are tired of his low-usage efficiency and are clamoring for the…

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Daniel Theis 14 Points/1 Game-Winning Block Full Highlights (1/3/2020)

It’s too bad that Daniel Theis’ impressive defense on Trae Young on the last real possession of this game was overshadowed by the fact that: 1. Marcus Smart decided to try to steal Theis’ glory even though he didn’t do anything on the play in question by pulling the “Iverson stepover” on Trae Young but…

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Daniel Theis 16 Points Full Highlights (12/12/2019)

Not included in this video: Daniel Theis getting his shot with 9 seconds left so soundly rejected by Joel Embiid that he had no choice but to try and crawl near the basket stanchion to protect himself. Included in this video: Daniel Theis scoring 16 points worth of buckets, presented without interruption. If you want…

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Daniel Theis 16 Points Full Highlights (3/30/2019)

It’s been established by insider Celtics locker room sources that Daniel Theis and Aron Baynes often get into MMA-style fistfights because they both view the other as stealing minutes from themselves. These fights are tinged with WWII overtones thanks to the Germany vs. Australia angle. You might ask, “which insiders are these and how were…

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Daniel Theis 20 Points Full Highlights (2/7/2019)

According to the NBA’s stats, Daniel Theis has the second best net rating in the league. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but as far as I can tell that means he’s the second-best player in the league, after Stephen Curry, who is first in the category. The rest of the top 10 is…

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