The seventh-seed Orlando Magic just upset the second-seed Toronto Raptors in the first game of the first round. The D.J. Augustin vs. Kyle Lowry matchup, which had previously not been paid much attention to, is suddenly at the forefront of the series. In this video description, I will attempt to answer: who is the better player? Augustin, or Lowry? And the easiest way to do this is to break down the question into sub-questions.
POINTS THIS GAME: Augustin had 26. Lowry had 0. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
POINTS THIS SEASON: Augustin has scored 948 points this season (regular season only). Lowry has scored 926. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
ASSISTS THIS GAME. Augustin has six. Lowry had eight. On the surface, it would seem that eight is more than six, granting Lowry the advantage in this category, but one has to remember that Augustin got his assists in the flow of the Magic offense. Lowry simply spammed passes to his teammates because he wasn’t making any of this shots. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
NOT BEING A HUGE CHOKER: Augustin did not choke in this game. In fact, he hit the game-winner, which is the exact opposite of choking. Lowry choked on the biggest stage, failed to hit any game-winners (or any shots at all) and is definitely a choke-artist. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
REVENGE STATUS: Augustin just had a total REVENGE GAME against his former team, the Raptors. It was justified revenge because the Raptors almost compeltely derailed Augustin’s career back in 2013. Meanwhile, Lowry has never played for the Magic, and has no desire to exact revenge upon them. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
PERIODS IN NAME: Augustin has two periods in his first name to separate his initials. Lowry has no periods in his name anywhere. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
PERIODS IN REAL LIFE: Neither Augustin nor Lowry experience menstrual periods, but Lowry definitely seems like the kind of guy who would get periods if it were biologically possible. That’s not a good thing. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
STEPPING UP IN BIG MOMENTS: Augustin came through in the last minute of the game when his scoring ability was needed the most. Lowry completely failed to step up to anything, much less any “big moment”. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
HAIR: Augustin has an immaculate hairline that always looks clean-cut and under control. Lowry doesn’t match that level of dedication when it comes to hair care. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
RELATIONSHIP WITH TEAMMATES: Everybody was hugging and congratulating Augustin this game. I didn’t see any of the same actions from Lowry’s teammates. They obviously hate his huts. ADVANTAGE: Augustin
After these factual facts were analyzed with truth and factuality, it was impossible to come to any other decision than this: D.J. Augustin is BETTER THAN Kyle Lowry.