November 2019 – Page 25

Rui Hachimura 21 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2019)

It’s early in the season, but, barring some tragic injury or sudden deportation back to Japan, I can already tell that a midrange-ilation for Rui Hachimura is totally happening. For those not versed in the terminology of DownToBuck, a “midrange-ilation” (portmanteau of “midrange” and “compilation”) is a video or series of videos where I document…

Carsen Edwards 18 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2019)

Tommy Heinsohn is 85 years old. I probably would’ve guessed 80, but once people start getting up that high, I stop being able to tell. He could be 100 for all I know, and I wouldn’t be surprised, because he was winning hella championships with Bill Russell, and that era of NBA basketball was a…

Fred VanVleet 30 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (11/13/2019)

Attention Raptors organization: you are supposed to be bad this year. Your superstar left without a second thought, the superstar that brought you a championship, and now you’re supposed to collapse in a pile of bad contracts and over-tasked role-players. That’s what teams do when they lose their star. They become bad. So what are…

Terry Rozier Career High 33 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (11/13/2019)

I am just now finding out that Terry Rozier has “3:17” tattooed on the back of his head. Did he always have that? Because this is the first time I’ve seen it. It’s either tattooed or, possibly, made out of hair. That would be way cooler but it looks way too neat for it to…

Alex Len 17 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2019)

The Hawks would really appreciate it if Alex Len could return to his form from last year. They need a center, badly, since John Collins got busted for importing primo Russian steroids through several middlemen and then using said steroids on his biceps (nowhere else, though, babes don’t care about anything other than biceps). Damian…

Deonte Burton 13 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2019)

With the real Dion Waiters sidelined because of some bad edibles (and these aren’t your grandma’s edibles) consumed while in a tiny metal tube traveling at hundreds of miles per hour at an extremely high elevation, the league looks around desperately for his replacement. And what do we have here? Perfect! It’s Deonte Burton! If…

Christian Wood 16 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2019)

It just occurred to me how weird it is for somebody to be named “Christian”. Just because it’s relatively commonplace doesn’t mean it’s not weird. The name is literally just the word for an adherent of Christianity. Even if you’re the holiest, most devout Christian ever, it’s still weird that your name is just “Christian”….

Will Barton 21 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2019)

If I was a Nuggets fan, I would be upset that Will Barton is playing just well enough to displace Malik Beasley in the lineup. I’m not sure a player like Barton is ever worth 32 minutes per game (the amount he’s getting currently, ten games into the season) but he’s definitely worth, like, 25…

Frank Kaminsky 16 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2019)

Just when Suns fans were reaching the breaking point with Frank Kaminsky, his cartoonishly elongated head, and his mastery of the art of the brick, he goes out and has another good game to buy himself some time. After not hitting a three-pointer for two full weeks (though not for lack of trying), he hit…

Taj Gibson 17 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2019)

This is so clearly a REVENGE GAME from Taj Gibson that I almost feel like I shouldn’t insult the intelligence of my viewers by explaining it. But explain it I shall, and not only will I explain it, I will explain it using easy-to-comprehend bullet points in order to further insult the intelligence of my…