De’Andre Hunter is a pretty good player already. This game in particular I was getting serious Kevin Durant vibes from him. But what if you took Hunter and combined him, through some kind of illegal (or at least unethical) scientific experiment, with the similarly-last-named Kevin Huerter? You would end up with a superplayer named De’Andre…
Read MoreMonth: December 2019
Kevin Huerter 19 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2019)
Kevin “Butthuert” Huerter just had his best game of the season, scoring 19 points, but it doesn’t even seem like that much because a.) his scoring was all spread out over the course of the game, which diluted its emotional impact (even the commentators didn’t seem to realize that Huerter was having anything other than…
Read MoreR.J. Barrett 18 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2019)
Sources within the Barrett family have furnished me with a full copy of R.J. Barrett’s christmas wish list, which I am now posting here with no edits or commentary: -An authentic NBA Rookie of the Year trophy -A real Snuggie (not the weird off-brands that you get from Chinese sellers on Amazon) -Get Bobby Portis…
Read MoreDamyean Dotson 19 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2019)
As if Knicks fans don’t have it bad enough, it turns out that the shoulder surgery that Damyean Dotson had over the off-season has completely destroyed his jumper. After he developed into a decent role-player in his second season, I’m sure Knicks fans had hopes that Dotson’s development would continue into his third year, but…
Read MoreTomas Satoransky 20 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2019)
“Sato, why do you look so down?” Tomas Satoransky realized that he had paused halfway through taking off his shoe, being too lost in thought to continue his postgame routine. Did his facial expression really make his sadness that obvious? “Oh, just homesick I guess,” he said, putting a smile on his face even though…
Read MoreFred VanVleet 21 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2019)
I thought that when Kyle Lowry came back, Fred VanVleet wasn’t supposed to play forty minutes per game anymore. But Nick Nurse has such a bone-on for this dude that he can’t bear to not start him, so FVV starts at the shooting guard position while Lowry starts at point guard. If Nurse doesn’t watch…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 23 Points/1 Kick Full Highlights (12/23/2019)
Serge Ibaka has relinquished his right to the “Iblocka” nickname. If he’s barely gonna average one block a game, there really is no case to be made for him keeping it. Nobody else has the correct syllables in their name to be called “Iblocka” except maybe Ivica Zubac, so the nickname will just be sitting…
Read MoreMyles Turner 24 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (12/23/2019)
Myles Turner is a verified scoring beast. You know how on Twitter, verified users get a little blue checkmark next to their name so that you know their opinions are more important than your opinions? Myles Turner has the blue checkmark of being a verified scorer, except the checkmark only exists in my proprietary database…
Read MoreAaron Holiday 19 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2019)
If your definition of clutch does not include plays made outside the last minute of regulation or overtime, than Aaron Holiday was pretty much not clutch at all. But if you expand your definition to be the last two minutes, then all of a sudden he becomes clutchmaster supremo, the king of clutch mountain, the…
Read MoreAlec Burks 25 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2019)
The Utah Jazz recently (very recently, only a few hours ago) traded for Jordan Clarkson to bolster their bench scoring. I’m finding that extremely funny, because from what I can recall, they already had a primo 6th-man-type scorer on their roster for several years, almost a decade actually. And they marginalized him and marginalized him…
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