Attention Marcus Smart: only good three-point shooters are allowed to do the “shoot a corner three and turn around and stare at the opposing bench before it even goes in” move. Not average ones like yourself. Please don’t ever do it again. It worked out this time, luckily for him. What if he had missed?…
Read MoreMonth: January 2020
Cory Joseph 16 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/30/2020)
Where are all the haters who were hating on the Kings for giving Cory Joseph a three-year, 36 million dollar deal in free agency? I don’t see them, where have they gone? Are they in hiding after Joseph’s good game against the “championship contender” Clippers? WHERE ARE THE HATERS? EXPOSE YOURSELVES FOR WELL-DESERVED RIDICULE! Oh…
Read MoreDamian Jones 14 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (1/30/2020)
Pass-first point guards combined with lob-catching big men are like a match made in heaven. Chris Paul + DeAndre Jordan, Russell Westbrook (not pass-first but still passes a lot because of ballhog tendencies) + Steven Adams, Andre Miller + JaVale McGee, James Harden + Clint Capela, all of these combos result in high-flying dunks for…
Read MoreVince Carter 14 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2020)
Whatever anti-aging remedies Vince Carter is using, I am willing to pay large amounts of money to get those same remedies sent to me so I can have them ready when the time comes for me to get old. Like all young people, I’ve always viewed “getting old” as some kind of far-off thing that…
Read MoreDarius Garland 16 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/30/2020)
Who is this third guy that shows up sometimes in the Cavaliers broadcast? I feel like he only does second halves for some reason, but he’s definitely been a part of a few highlight videos that I’ve made and I’m not sure I like him. Here’s the thing: three-person commentary teams are doomed from the…
Read MoreThomas Bryant 21 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2020)
The ‘Zards rarely get wins these days, but when they do, it’s against teams that have such an impotent offensive attack that even the ‘Zards nearly nonexistent defense can stop them from scoring. Enter the Charlotte Hornets. They were good for a little while and maybe even snuck into a playoff seeding for a little…
Read MoreMiles Bridges 23 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2020)
I am currently in the process of coming up with a big list of excuses for why I will not be making a video for Terry Rozier’s 21-point showing in this game. The simple truth of it is that I am fed up with having to make a Rozier vid seemingly every god damn Hornets…
Read MoreShake Milton Career High 27 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/30/2020)
Shake “Shake Shaq” Milton doesn’t actually have that many similarities to the famous Shaquille O’Neal, despite what his nickname (which I came up with just now) would imply. He’s not big like Shaq. He can’t bully people like Shaq. He’s not a perennial MVP snub like Shaq was in his prime. However, Milton does have…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 26 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2020)
After tonight’s 26-point performance, Serge Ibaka is officially averaging the most points he ever has in his career. 15.2, beating out the 15.1 he had in the 2013-14 season as well as the 15.0 he had last year. He’s been in the league for over a decade, and someone with his longevity averaging a career-high…
Read MoreBrandon Clarke 17 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2020)
Brandon Clarke (whose last name will never not be pronounced “Clarky” in my head) hasn’t gotten a highlight video for over a month. I’m not apologizing for that fact, I’m just saying, that’s how long Clarke has gone without a video. The issue, if you can even consider it an “issue”, is that Clarke’s low-volume,…
Read More