Since the arrival of Kyrie Irving on the Nets has drastically reduced the funness of the entire Brooklyn Nets team, I was thinking about ways they could increase their funness while not having to make any moves that blatantly trade away talented players (like Irving). Moving Spencer Dinwiddie to the bench was a step in the wrong direction, but I’ve got an idea that will counteract everything unfun about the Nets right now:
Everybody has an afro.
Do you know how many people would tune into Nets games just to see that every player on their roster, from their starters to their end-of-bench scrubs has a giant, puffy afro? It would be like 70’s-era Harlem Globetrotters except they’re a real basketball team playing real competitive games in a real league. We already know that Jarrett Allen looks cool as heck with the fro, so why not have everybody else rock the same ‘do?
Spencer Dinwiddie would look awesome, obviously. Joe Harris would like he just stepped out of Semi-Pro. It would be a shame to make Nicolas Claxton lose his luscious locks to a puffy ball of permed hair, but it would be for the good of the team. Rodions Kurucs would look weird, but he already looks weird and even a “fashionable” hairstyle wouldn’t be able to offset his facial aesthetics. Taurean Prince is all ready to go, just take the hair out of those rows and boom! Afro!
The only problem with this plan is that Kevin Durant is balding to the point that he wouldn’t be able to comply with this new team-wide requirement, so they’d have to trade him. Oh well.