We are over halfway through the NBA regular season now. More basketball has been played than there is basketball remaining to be played. To assuage the profound sadness you feel while internalizing this revelation, watch this dunkilation. It won’t quite mend your broken soul, but it will at least help you forget that it’s broken for the next ten minutes (approximately). If you enjoy these dunkilations, consider donating to my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/downtobuck
0:13 – If I were Elfrid Payton here, my choice of language would be considerably more colorful than just “hello”.
0:27 – It took me a while to realize this was E’Twaun Moore dunking it. He’s the player on the Pelicans roster who I would least expect to have a nice dunk.
1:00 – “Temple of Doom” is a pretty clever bit of commentary. It just took Temple a decade to execute a dunk worthy of the phrase.
1:11 – I love it when commentators unleash primal screams.
1:48 – Larry Nance asserting his dominance not only with the dunk but with the disrespectful displaying of his genitals afterwards. Unfortunately, Norman Powell was facing the wrong way and didn’t even make eye contact with Nance’s genitals.
1:55 – It should be against the law to use replays that have the direction of play going the wrong way. This doesn’t even look like a replay of the same dunk. It looks like two different dunks.
2:07 – Not a windmill. ‘Nique has to step in during these situations with a solid slap to his co-commentator’s face.
2:17 – You know the catch was sick when all four of the dunker’s limbs are going in different directions.
2:29 – Who else is getting hyped over the prospect of Ja Morant being a fixture in my dunkilations for years to come?
2:44 – Upon further reflection, I placed this dunk way too early in the video. I would like to extend a personal and sincere apology to De’Aaron Fox, who has been wronged grievously by this misordering of dunks.
3:08 – In these situations it is appropriate for the commentators to tell the boring ex-referee to shut up about the rules for a few seconds so that the dunk can be properly acknowledged.
3:34 – Double-clutch dunks in traffic don’t happen often enough. I am contacting my elected representatives about this.
3:38 – SPOILER ALERT: JaVale McGee will get victimized by Aaron Gordon at least one more time by video’s end.
4:10 – TONY SNELL PICK AND ROLL GOD
4:20 – Brandon Clarke gets a faceful of junk-funk here. Can you get a technical for shoving your own teammate?
4:29 – Shout out to Jarrett Allen for selflessly improving the entertainment value of my dunkilations by willingly being on the receiving end of tons of posters.
4:43 – Currently sending this video to Bob Rathbun so he knows what a windmill dunk really looks like.
5:41 – This play is cool, but it would have been up to 250% cooler if Duncan Robinson had dunked it himself instead of giving the ball up.
5:54 – Matthew Dellavedova tried his best, it’s just that his best isn’t very good when it comes to defending against 1-on-3 fast breaks.
6:01 – Am I the only one that feels disappointed when the ball doesn’t go cleanly through the rim? It ruins the aesthetics of the dunk.
6:08 – You can pinpoint the exact moment in time when Cody Zeller realizes that he’s getting posterized by his own teammate.
6:32 – There was a forced narrative of this dunk being comparable to Jayson Tatum’s dunk on LeBron two years ago. It is not comparable. Stop doing this.
6:46 – This new Pelicans commentator is straight-up ruining highlight clips by getting way too hyped. However, this was one of the rare situations where is level of hypedness was appropriate.
7:02 – Jordan Bell needs an emergency admission to the fertility clinic after that one. His Jingle Bells aren’t jingling anymore, that’s for sure.
7:19 – Jarrett Culver was not prepared for the consequences of staring down Robin Lopez and then trash-talking him.
7:32 – Not many players will seamlessly turn a play that looks like a midrange pop into a trampoline dunk from way outside the restricted circle.
7:39 – Jarrett Allen redemption tour begins NOW.
8:04 – Thought experiment: if you dunked on somebody so hard that they died, would that be a crime?
8:29 – It just occurred to me that I could buy a poster-making machine and use it to make bootleg NBA posters that I can sell to middle-schoolers. BRB losers, I’ll be a millionaire next time you see me.
8:54 – Phew. I was getting nervous that Derrick Jones Jr. wouldn’t make an appearance.
9:11 – I just want to say that the Cavaliers should not be allowed to use an alternate color scheme that is so similar to the Pacers’ colors. If colors on jerseys don’t mean anything, then how am I supposed to make sense of the world?
9:21 – Pushing people in midair definitely seems like a good idea.
9:31 – DeRozan wasted no time in letting Chris Boucher that there were no hard feelings by immediately hugging him as they fell back down to earth.