Kelly Oubre is one of the highest-scoring players remaining on my channel with his 18.5 PPG per game. My official drop-dead cutoff for DTB eligibility is 20 PPG per game, so Oubre’s not quite there yet, but I’ve kicked out a bunch of players who are objectively worse scorers than he is, so I’m not sure why I’m holding on to him so tightly.
There’s some deep psychoanalysis that could happen here, but I’m not qualified to analyze my own motivations as to Oubre’s continued inclusion on my channel. My brain is like a black box whose inner workings cannot be discerned. We need to bring in a psychological professional to prod me with the questions that will force my subconscious to disgorge its secrets. Put me in a trance so I can’t censor my true feelings. Didn’t the CIA invent a veritaserum like in Harry Potter? Dose me up with some of that and we’ll find out for sure why I haven’t given Oubre the boot yet.
It’s definitely not because I think Oubre is cute or anything. His flawless skin and shimmering eyes do not tantalize me.