This performance for Malik Beasley in his first game donning the Timberwolves’ highlighter green and navy blue should come as no surprise for the true, devoted Malik Beasley acolytes out there. Beasley was doing things like this basically ALL of a last season for the Nuggets. Then their roster changed, they had too many good guards, and Beasley got buried despite his proven ability to be a Klayesque long-range shooter. I fully expect Beasley to continue shooting like this for the remainder of this season.
If you would like to be a true, devoted Malik Beasley acolyte such as myself, the first thing you need to do is get fully on board Malik Beasley’s hype train. That means never doubting his shooting ability and always blaming any of his shortcomings on his coach or his teammates. The second thing you need to do is build a shrine in your place of residence devoted to the worship of Malik Beasley. This shrine needs to contain candles, printouts of Beasley’s face, the Crystals of Worship (available from me for the low price of $500 a set, these Crystals have special properties which allow you to link souls with Beasley), and a sculpture of Beasley’s head made out of congealed nacho cheese. The third and final thing you need to do is donate to my Patreon so that I can funnel the monies directly to the establishment to a new Church of Malik Beasley (COMB).
Donors will get a special reduced membership fee when COMB is ready for prime-time. COMB will enter an American religious landscape that has no shortage of competitors, some of them well-established for millennia, but a true Malik Beasley acolyte has no need for the feeble dogmas of man. Unless they’re the dogmas that I came up with. Then you need them or you’re going to hell.
Hell is where there is no Malik Beasley and there is only Andrew Wiggins.