Marquese “Mar-Queso” “Sea-Cheese” Chriss has lately been on a murderous vendetta against rims all across the country. Never before has his shot selection been so disciplined and focused. His single goal on the court these days seems to be to cram basketballs through orange rings suspended ten feet in the air with fury that matches the Bersekers of Viking lore.
In celebration of Chriss’ constant and insatiable anger towards the rim, I am hereby making an OFFICIAL DECLARATION: I will be making a Marquese Chriss dunkilation at the end of the season.
You may think this is a premature announcement. I beg to differ. Chriss has 83 dunks so far this season, and, if present trends continue, he will easily eclipse 100. As you can clearly see, not only from this video, but from other videos of Sea-Cheese that I have uploaded to my channel, the quality of Chriss’ dunks is very high. Even if he were to stop dunking right now, the amount of raw dunkage contained in his dunks would be more than adequate for a highly entertaining dunkilation.
What I am undecided on is whether I should make a Marquese Chriss Bitchilation for this season. It would show all the times that Chriss was a bitch towards other players for no reason. The problem is, if I upload any video that’s longer than nine minutes and 44 seconds (what a random threshold), it gets copyright-blocked by the NBA. How could I possibly fit all of Chriss’ bitchiness in such a short span of time?